9 Myths about sex revealed
We all evolve from curious 15 year old giggling on the slight mention of "Sex" to flamboyant young women who over the years have received gyan from magazines and "experienced" friends. However, sex is a never ending topic for discussion. Just when you think you've aced it you realized that's not all there is to it.
False information about sex is available everywhere now. In the papers, your bedroom, on the streets. If you had the same doubts and had plans of asking them out loud, here are a few less embarrassing way to dispel all doubts.
1. Size matters: Is it a universal law that what's bigger has to be better? Do you feel the intensity of your pleasure depends on the size of his organ? Wrong. Only about 4 centimetres (external one third) of the vaginal canal contains sensory nerves for arousal and orgasms. So why waste time trying to stimulate the internal two thirds of the vaginal canal when there's not going to be any response? Focus your attention to more important matters, women!
2. Love foods or aphrodisiacs will get you "tingly": Pigging out on oysters and strawberries to spice up your sex life? Sorry to break your bubble women, it's nothing but a placebo effect. As in, if people believe oysters and chocolate are supposed to be sexually stimulating foods, they very well might become aroused after consuming them. Aphrodisiacs have no provable affect on the libido.
3. Men think more about sex than women: Don't blame the sex game on the men. Women think about sex as much as a man does. If you're an 18 year old with raging hormones then there are chances you might be sleeping, eating and dreaming sex. After a certain age, men and women's sexual urges mellows a bit. And it's a complete no-no to weigh out sexual prowess. To each man his own. This also doesn't mean that only men make the first move for sex. Women do too! And nothing can be more turning on for the man than a woman in control.
4. The withdrawal method won't get you knocked up: All it takes is a tiny sperm to get you pregnant. And that can happen through pre-ejaculation also. Most pregnancies happen because of the withdrawal method. This isn't a fool proof plan so heads up!
5. Women don't like porn: Not all women want rose petals on their bed. And not all women want to be whisked away into a gentle world of "love-making". Women enjoy pornography too. And if anyone thought only men can conjure up fantasies, then you are definitely misguided.
6. You won't get pregnant if you have sex while menstruating: Wrong! This is a long standing myth that most people believe in. It is unlikely that a woman will get pregnant while menstruating but not impossible. Sperms can stay alive inside you for several days, especially if you have a shorter cycle.
7. An orgasm for women is supposed to be earth shattering and if not so, you're not normal: Myth, myth and 100% myth. Some women have orgasms and don't know about it. Pelvic muscles don't contract as much for some women however after a point of arousal they do feel relaxed and content. So if he failed to "rock" your world, then don't panic. You're still very normal.
8. Every woman has a G-spot: The alluring mystery of the G-spot. Yes, it's true every woman has a G-spot, but not every woman's G spot is an erogenous zone. So if you've been on a quest to find out the sweet spot, then you're wasting your time. Focus on the other erogenous zones. She'd be so much happier!
9. If she doesn't make pleasure noises, then she's not enjoying the sex: Some women are vocal, some are not. This doesn't mean she's not enjoying it. Don't expect her to scream out all the time. We know it's an ego boost for you, boys. But it just doesn't work that way. Sometimes, silence is golden.
Caught while having sex?
When was the last time your boss walked in while you were all heated down under? Got scathing comments from your dad about your last night mushy talks with your beloved?
Or a curious auntyji caught you crossing limits under the staircase? Admit it, for it's something that's bound to happen. All of us have faced embarrassing sex moments that we would ideally like to forget.
"Don't fret about imperfect moments in your sex life; just rejoice and hold your lover tight. Your ability to deal with embarrassing situations reflects the strength of your relationship. Real understanding is about being able to feel at ease with each other in awkward circumstances as well. Emotional presence and trust is the biggest aphrodisiac and the thrill can last a lifetime," explains Renu Rai, a psychatrist.
We bring you a list of the most awkward sexual encounters and the ways you can avoid being caught...
Your mom cancels her trip and comes back home: Ravi Sharma, a student, shares his experience, "My ex and I had planned for a steamy night once my parents left for an official trip abroad for three days. I wanted to make her feel special. My parent's bedroom was the spacious one, so I lit it up with candles and scented oils to create the perfect ambience for sex. In the attached bathroom, I prepared for a hot bubble bath together. The afternoon my parents left, my ex and I were in an over-the-session. We were busy in the bathroom when my mom and my aunt walked in on us in a compromising position. We were caught in an embarrassing embrace. My ex ran out with whatever clothes she could find, but post the episode my parents did not speak to me for four months."
Expert talk: Pschologist, Poornima Sahni advises, "It's natural for young lovers to indulge in such activities in the heat of the moment. However, if you are caught, it is difficult to get over the shock. What is important is to keep in mind that when you are caught by your parents, they experience the same kind of disillusionment as you. So it is important to talk it out with your family in a free and frank manner. Initially there would be a lot of anger, but your persistence would pay off after sometime."
Dad overhears your phone sex : Sandhya Singh, a call centre executive, speaks about the time when she was caught getting hot and dirty over the phone by her father. "I thought everyone at my home was asleep. So when my boyfriend called, I started talking to him and we were actually being quite explicit. Unfortunately my dad chose that moment to get up for a drink of water. And I never realised that he was overhearing our candid conversation, until he made some sound to alert me about his presence. I just wanted to die that very moment."
Expert talk: According to Sahni, phone sex isn't a good idea. "Having phone sex can be quite thrilling, but you are making yourself vulnerable to a lot of things. It's not just about your parents, but about your dignity. The guy/girl you are talking to may just record the conversation and circulate it amongst their peers. So in that case it's just not about you, but also about your family. And most likely your parents are bothered about that more. So, its best to use a little thought before doing these things."
Your sister catches you in the act: Sakshi Shekhar, a management student reveals," Once I had called my boyfriend when my parents were out. My elder sister was sleeping in the next room. I assumed I had latched her door from outside, but due to some discrepancy on my part she caught us mid act, with my boyfriend literally on top. She immediately left and we ended being the worst enemies at that time for she kept on blackmailing me with it. She would threaten me that she would pass on this information to our parents and I had to do everything she said."
Expert talk: Pschologist Dr Akash Makhija explains, "Siblings can be quite tortuous at times. If you ever get caught by your sibling, the best thing to do is to go up and confide everything to him/her. Siblings can become the greatest confidantes. Apologise and accept that it was a mistake. They will counsel you about it, keep a tab on your activities, but at the end of the day, they can end up becoming your best friend. And you never know, they might be saving you from some disastrous relationship."
Your best friend's brother sneaks on you : "Me and my friend had just watched a porn film and I was desperate to visit the loo. I was just too excited and forgot to shut the door behind me. Moreover, I just thought that my friend's younger brother must be sleeping. Only to find him watching me suspiciously when I was trying to ease masturbate. And what's more, he was actually recording all that on his cell. I got so nervous thinking it would be up on the net in no time. I had to bribe that kid so much to push him to delete that clip," shares Prateek Sen, a medical student.
Expert talk: "When at a friend's place, always remember to be careful of the members in the house. Also, you could be a bad influence on kids if they watch these sexually explicit acts. It's best not to have such outings at anyone's place lest you run into a situation like this. Even if you are sneaked upon, act naturally, like it's a normal phenomenon, especially when kids are around. And if they insist on being naughty, you know you can always threaten them. However, never be harsh with children as it could lead to worse situations," suggests Makhija.
Your strip video has been seen by your boyfriend's parents: Ananya Rao, a chartered accountant, recalls, "My ex had this video of me stripping in his cell. I blindly trusted him at that time, so I never bothered to make him delete it. One day, he accidentally gave his mobile to his dad who scrolled through and saw my naughty show. Initially, I didn't know what had happened, but when my ex informed me about the same, I was burning with shame. Till date, I avoid him and don't think I would ever be able to face him."
Expert talk: "Firstly, videos should never be made on the cell. The thrill won't last long and this act is definitely much skewed. However, if such things occur, the first thing to do is to confess to either of your parents. Children think that parents never understand their dilemma. But it is important to understand that they are the ones who can pull you through drastic situations. They might be angry, disappointed and dejected initially, but they will prove out to be your biggest support," explains Sahni.
Your boss walks into your misadventures: "I was having a fleeting affair with my boss's girlfriend. Actually it was she who initiated the fling and we were in the act right on my boss's table. He supposedly had been sent to another office in the city for that day. And we were having a ball right when I saw him banging his cabin door. I managed to cover up myself, but hisgirlfriend was in quite a state. He saw us in a compromising position and needless to say, I was fired the next day," says Rajiv Choudhary, sales executive.
Expert talk: Makhija suggests, "The boss's lover is a complete no-no. And even if you want to have some thrills at the cost of your boss, then this isn't the way to gratification. Not only does it completely ruin your reputation, the organisation's reputation is also at stake. If you want to have a fling with your boss's girlfriend, do it away from the office vicinity. Yet it's a too much risk and one should avoid falling into such traps."
One-night stands are not an issue with men
it comes to choosing whom to sleep with even if it means for a one-night stand.
An experiment conducted by scientists proves that if a gorgeous woman on a street were to make a move on a man, about 97 per cent of men would agree to take her to their apartment while about 83 per cent of them would nod to instant sex.
Howsoever, when average looking women were asked the same question, around 80 per cent of women said they'd go out for a drink with the man while 60 per cent said they'd advance further than just a drink.
Again, the same research claims that when a stranger propositioned women, only one in 120 girls agreed to having sex. Scientists state that all these findings are seem quite true because of the difference between both genders. French psychologist Nicolas Gueguen, as quoted by an English daily, said, "Men are apparently more eager for sexual activity than women are." He also stated that a man is more willing to go to an unfamiliar lady's apartment just to sleep with her unlike a woman.
Clinical psychologist Mansi Hassan says, "Men are more sexual beings. For men, sex is more for pleasure. Women associate sex emotions. But nowadays there are women who have casual sex. But they're more likely to get attached to their casual sex partner and want more out of the fling, while men can disconnect easily. "
Clinical psychologist Shrradha Sidhwani says, "I agree with the research. But surely, the trend is changing now as women have become more practical and there is a higher percentage of women who seek sex rather than emotional attachment. But yes, women, at the end, are most likely to get attached to their fling also."
When 23 year old accounts executive Asha Gopal was asked her view, she says, "Of course not. No matter how handsome a stranger is I don't think I will sleep with him unless I really get to know him better and feel he's the one. And for that one needs time. But I am sure there are women who'd go forward with it. To each his own." While 25-year old copy writer Samantha D'costa differs with that report stating, "If I were to answer that, I feel, if the man is charming enough and has no sexual diseases, I would go ahead with it. Sex, I feel, is a common need for both genders. And if the either is charming enough, I don't think one can help but indulge in sex."
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